他伏在他厚实的背脊上，小心的聆听他那跳跃在背脊下的脉膊。指尖轻轻地画过他那宛如石块的背脊上的汗珠，再滑向他的股间。 他的呻吟是原始的催唤，在他心里敲击着。
他喜欢他的身体如石块般的平坦实在。他喜欢扒在他的上面，感受他的温暖和轻轻的起伏。他常笑这石头是水做的，老是冒出细小冷冷的水珠。让他抹拭。
他常紧紧地抱着这石头，狂吻。深恐他的离开换来一阵的虚空与孤寂。 他留恋那静静地伏在他那厚实的石背上的时光。
轻抚他的肌肤，在他那活跃层叠的脉络之上。
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
"My 8 days of him"
He does not know how he is being able to pass through all these eight days; all he can do is just tolerate and be patient. It was not a very long period in fact, but if you are waiting for someone, and was unable to get hold of him, and still you know where he is, then 8 days seems like rather a long time。
Day 1--16th (Wednesday).
He was delighted in the morning to received his SMS telling him not to worry about him while he is at work, and he says he will taking care of himself; that’s good, at least, he still remember him, and he is in his heart, haha. But he was so miserable at night of missing him too much in the day 1, and worst is that still got another 7 days to go.
Day 2--17th (Thursday).
He was lying on bed and trying to recall some of the unforgettable memory they share so far, which happened in several locations. It was so boring without him in his life, and he was expecting him to appear in MSN but this does not happen. Night time is not a good time for him without him around; he just occupied the whole room in his mind.
Day 3--18th (Friday).
He was kind of free at work today, and was looking for task to do to keep himself busy; but again, like usual, his images will pop up automatically. He drives a long way home to the North at night after work, and all the way he was thinking about him, his everything indeed….Every time when he was lying in the bed sure will miss him lots.
Day 4--19th (Saturday).
He was at home and wakes up late this morning. After having lunch then he went to shopping mall to buy daily stuff. He was unable to not to think about him. He wonder is he enjoys his time over there. He went to swimming in the evening, but still cannot wash off his images in his mind.
Day 5--20th (Sunday).
He wake up late again today in the morning, simply tuck in a kosong ban and half glass of cold milk, then get really to the park to jog and exercise. Strong physical exercise still can’t keep his mind off him, his images just “follows” him every step when he jogs. After that he sat under the shadow of a tree and write some short articles --“妖”.
Day 6--21st (Monday).
He went to local clinic for blood test, a yearly routine checkup; then collect materials from a friend to be bring to work, and as well search around local shop for a digital scale but was unable to find one. Noon having heavy rain in the North. The mode of missing him begins in the morning when he wakes up. Still have to wait for another two more days. My god.
Day 7--22nd (Tuesday).
He drives back to KL in a pretty slow speed in the mid day, as he remembers he always reminds him to drive slowly. He went to the usual stall to have his lonely meal again at night, and then unpacked some of the stuff he brought back. At night today he can access to internet after few days at home, he was so desperate to hear from him. He was expecting tomorrow to come.
Day 8--23rd (Wednesday).
He was no working since yesterday, clearing some of his annual leaves. He is coming back today, and hope he doesn’t changed at all. What time would he arrive? Forget to ask him. Really can’t wait to see him. Hey, miss you very much all these 8 days.
Day 1--16th (Wednesday).
He was delighted in the morning to received his SMS telling him not to worry about him while he is at work, and he says he will taking care of himself; that’s good, at least, he still remember him, and he is in his heart, haha. But he was so miserable at night of missing him too much in the day 1, and worst is that still got another 7 days to go.
Day 2--17th (Thursday).
He was lying on bed and trying to recall some of the unforgettable memory they share so far, which happened in several locations. It was so boring without him in his life, and he was expecting him to appear in MSN but this does not happen. Night time is not a good time for him without him around; he just occupied the whole room in his mind.
Day 3--18th (Friday).
He was kind of free at work today, and was looking for task to do to keep himself busy; but again, like usual, his images will pop up automatically. He drives a long way home to the North at night after work, and all the way he was thinking about him, his everything indeed….Every time when he was lying in the bed sure will miss him lots.
Day 4--19th (Saturday).
He was at home and wakes up late this morning. After having lunch then he went to shopping mall to buy daily stuff. He was unable to not to think about him. He wonder is he enjoys his time over there. He went to swimming in the evening, but still cannot wash off his images in his mind.
Day 5--20th (Sunday).
He wake up late again today in the morning, simply tuck in a kosong ban and half glass of cold milk, then get really to the park to jog and exercise. Strong physical exercise still can’t keep his mind off him, his images just “follows” him every step when he jogs. After that he sat under the shadow of a tree and write some short articles --“妖”.
Day 6--21st (Monday).
He went to local clinic for blood test, a yearly routine checkup; then collect materials from a friend to be bring to work, and as well search around local shop for a digital scale but was unable to find one. Noon having heavy rain in the North. The mode of missing him begins in the morning when he wakes up. Still have to wait for another two more days. My god.
Day 7--22nd (Tuesday).
He drives back to KL in a pretty slow speed in the mid day, as he remembers he always reminds him to drive slowly. He went to the usual stall to have his lonely meal again at night, and then unpacked some of the stuff he brought back. At night today he can access to internet after few days at home, he was so desperate to hear from him. He was expecting tomorrow to come.
Day 8--23rd (Wednesday).
He was no working since yesterday, clearing some of his annual leaves. He is coming back today, and hope he doesn’t changed at all. What time would he arrive? Forget to ask him. Really can’t wait to see him. Hey, miss you very much all these 8 days.
“妖”
妖I
人来人往。他与他并肩。时近时远。他故意逼近。肌肤的接触让他与他有触电之感。他与他都各自暗自惊喜。只差没电光火石般轰烈。是他还是他， 是谁在电谁。
(22nd May 2010)
妖II
他深情地望着他。他有被迷惑的感觉。他躺在他的房里，像蛛网上的猎物， 有动弹不得之感。他逼近，气息吐纳有些急促。他只好等待。 就在接触的刹那，他还击，经是如此紧凑的欲罢不能。紧拥狂吸。他，是期待着他如此的。 而他是知道的，也等待着他付诸行动。
(31st May 2010)
妖III
他伏在他的身上，无法自控的游移， 恨不得钻进他体内，和他合而为一。 欲念的起伏让他与他都在喘息。他炙热的躯体是欲望的升华，诱惑着他的贪念。他和他，如此占有般的相互吮吸着，直到决堤。 他是喜欢他的。
(14th June 2010)
人来人往。他与他并肩。时近时远。他故意逼近。肌肤的接触让他与他有触电之感。他与他都各自暗自惊喜。只差没电光火石般轰烈。是他还是他， 是谁在电谁。
(22nd May 2010)
妖II
他深情地望着他。他有被迷惑的感觉。他躺在他的房里，像蛛网上的猎物， 有动弹不得之感。他逼近，气息吐纳有些急促。他只好等待。 就在接触的刹那，他还击，经是如此紧凑的欲罢不能。紧拥狂吸。他，是期待着他如此的。 而他是知道的，也等待着他付诸行动。
(31st May 2010)
妖III
他伏在他的身上，无法自控的游移， 恨不得钻进他体内，和他合而为一。 欲念的起伏让他与他都在喘息。他炙热的躯体是欲望的升华，诱惑着他的贪念。他和他，如此占有般的相互吮吸着，直到决堤。 他是喜欢他的。
(14th June 2010)
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
A Day of Enlightenment
14th of June, 2010
The afternoon was not as hot as usual.
Two delicious “bak Chang”.
Few interesting books that I bought in the book fairs been delivered.
A sweating spiky head.
It was an absolute wonderful day in my life.
A memorable afternoon for physical and psychological enlightenment.
Wow.
15th June 2010
The afternoon was not as hot as usual.
Two delicious “bak Chang”.
Few interesting books that I bought in the book fairs been delivered.
A sweating spiky head.
It was an absolute wonderful day in my life.
A memorable afternoon for physical and psychological enlightenment.
Wow.
15th June 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
"兰雨"
其实。雨，早已停了。
我不该让你等待我过份的迟来。彼此的际遇，却让你陷入一场今生无法忘怀的爱恋。我的执著让你迟疑，这跨岁的缘定，是偶然的邂遘，还是前世的约定。
我守着你的到来和离去，像守着前世和今生的点滴；没有要求，不需回报。只让你豁达踏步人生。
雨。早已停了。在这兰黑的夜晚。
夜，有多长。
思念，却无法度量。
-- 9th June 2010
我不该让你等待我过份的迟来。彼此的际遇，却让你陷入一场今生无法忘怀的爱恋。我的执著让你迟疑，这跨岁的缘定，是偶然的邂遘，还是前世的约定。
我守着你的到来和离去，像守着前世和今生的点滴；没有要求，不需回报。只让你豁达踏步人生。
雨。早已停了。在这兰黑的夜晚。
夜，有多长。
思念，却无法度量。
-- 9th June 2010
"The Darkest Night"
8th June 2010
It was a rather hot and sticky night really.
I was waiting for the moment to come, the moment where I can chat with him in that small window, silently without disturbing others, without causing awareness of others as well, hoping that the whole world was asleep, but only we awake in the dark night, sharing our thought and concern for each other, in a distance of far and beyond.
During the day, I hope the night can come sooner, so I can see you again; and at night, I hope the night can stay there forever, so I can be with you much longer. But, things doesn’t go as what I expecting; sometime I have to accept that as well, because I really cannot control what should happens or should not be happens, just precautious of our togetherness in this mundane world.
My night of waiting almost shatters, and this does bring me some shock; suddenly I do not know how to face this kind of ordeal, it is like a “punishment” from the god, punishes me of getting into this kind of “relationship”, whereby I should not have. I was keep silent for quite sometimes, starring at the unsympathetic words being sent to me appearing in the screen, on and on; sentences were short, but strong and sharp enough to peer through my heart, I was speechless, confused and lost in my own world of sorrow. Why?
My eye staring at the screen of the keep coming words, no tear can ever run from my eye, I hope I can, at least crying can ease my sorrow, but not; the tear runs backward to the heart, I was blank for the moment, and sink to the darkest of the night with no one could ever lend a hand to me. I was helpless.
Hatred is not the thing I will do to him. To someone I care about, I concern about, I would not and should not do any harm to him; and of course, he has his own reasons to behave like this, he has to throw out all doubts and uncertainty to himself and me, I understand, he is still a young man will not much of experiment with reality, and I hope I can accompany him when he feel lonely, to assist him when he needs help, to guide him when he confront problems in his journey of life.
These are the thing I will do. Just be there for you, when you need me.
One day, you will leave me, or perhaps, I will leave you.
I do not belief in fate that god created for me. My fate is in my own hand. Thats my theory.
For as long as you are available, I hope I can be accompanying you, to see u grow, to see you develop, to see you achieve your dream, to give you any support when you needed. That’s all I would like to do.
Or, may be, you do not want me to do all these things. Or, may be, I am no body to you.
Dear.
-- 9th June 2010
It was a rather hot and sticky night really.
I was waiting for the moment to come, the moment where I can chat with him in that small window, silently without disturbing others, without causing awareness of others as well, hoping that the whole world was asleep, but only we awake in the dark night, sharing our thought and concern for each other, in a distance of far and beyond.
During the day, I hope the night can come sooner, so I can see you again; and at night, I hope the night can stay there forever, so I can be with you much longer. But, things doesn’t go as what I expecting; sometime I have to accept that as well, because I really cannot control what should happens or should not be happens, just precautious of our togetherness in this mundane world.
My night of waiting almost shatters, and this does bring me some shock; suddenly I do not know how to face this kind of ordeal, it is like a “punishment” from the god, punishes me of getting into this kind of “relationship”, whereby I should not have. I was keep silent for quite sometimes, starring at the unsympathetic words being sent to me appearing in the screen, on and on; sentences were short, but strong and sharp enough to peer through my heart, I was speechless, confused and lost in my own world of sorrow. Why?
My eye staring at the screen of the keep coming words, no tear can ever run from my eye, I hope I can, at least crying can ease my sorrow, but not; the tear runs backward to the heart, I was blank for the moment, and sink to the darkest of the night with no one could ever lend a hand to me. I was helpless.
Hatred is not the thing I will do to him. To someone I care about, I concern about, I would not and should not do any harm to him; and of course, he has his own reasons to behave like this, he has to throw out all doubts and uncertainty to himself and me, I understand, he is still a young man will not much of experiment with reality, and I hope I can accompany him when he feel lonely, to assist him when he needs help, to guide him when he confront problems in his journey of life.
These are the thing I will do. Just be there for you, when you need me.
One day, you will leave me, or perhaps, I will leave you.
I do not belief in fate that god created for me. My fate is in my own hand. Thats my theory.
For as long as you are available, I hope I can be accompanying you, to see u grow, to see you develop, to see you achieve your dream, to give you any support when you needed. That’s all I would like to do.
Or, may be, you do not want me to do all these things. Or, may be, I am no body to you.
Dear.
-- 9th June 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
“He is the One”
1st of June.
Half of the year has gone.
Sudden wake up in the early morning around 5 am today, and all I realized is that he was all over my mind since yesterday night after we parted.
Am I never sleeping yesterday night? I think so. When I lay in the bed alone yesterday night, I started to miss him and think about what we have been doing and together.
Every time when the feeling of missing him attacks, I will go to his blog to read his writing, or go to the site to see his pictures, or else, what can I do?
And, ridicular enough, I have the idea that I wish I could have the “sacred sand”, like the sand in the movie of the “Price of Persia” we watch together, that I could turn the time backward for many years ago, so I be able to know him much earlier, and can be with him whenever he wanted before now; and of course, I could be “The absolute One” for him everlastingly. A silly thought, I know.
Still wanted to see him, an urge really deep in the heart, affected the mind, somehow uncontrollable. But I still will do this, just because of him, no one else. A silly decision again, I knew that.
He starts to work for the next few weeks, from early to night; in a way, which means I cannot see him for at least two weeks, then again, he will go abroad for holiday, and then the new semester commence; I hope I can tolerate missing him, and can control the desire to see him, when he starts to come back to his study. The distraction from me will certainly affect his concentration. Thinking about this, should I keep away from him, I ask myself, but, can I? I doubt.
He is the one. To me. And always be, I believe.
And, I know, lots of things from me are “unfair” to him…
Apologize from me. Dear.
-- 1st June 2010
(p/s. Ring him again this afternoon around 2.15, just to chat to him and listen to his voice, this will makes me feel more comfort. Haha, it is like I am addicted to “something” or in “drug”. Miss you extremely much.)
Half of the year has gone.
Sudden wake up in the early morning around 5 am today, and all I realized is that he was all over my mind since yesterday night after we parted.
Am I never sleeping yesterday night? I think so. When I lay in the bed alone yesterday night, I started to miss him and think about what we have been doing and together.
Every time when the feeling of missing him attacks, I will go to his blog to read his writing, or go to the site to see his pictures, or else, what can I do?
And, ridicular enough, I have the idea that I wish I could have the “sacred sand”, like the sand in the movie of the “Price of Persia” we watch together, that I could turn the time backward for many years ago, so I be able to know him much earlier, and can be with him whenever he wanted before now; and of course, I could be “The absolute One” for him everlastingly. A silly thought, I know.
Still wanted to see him, an urge really deep in the heart, affected the mind, somehow uncontrollable. But I still will do this, just because of him, no one else. A silly decision again, I knew that.
He starts to work for the next few weeks, from early to night; in a way, which means I cannot see him for at least two weeks, then again, he will go abroad for holiday, and then the new semester commence; I hope I can tolerate missing him, and can control the desire to see him, when he starts to come back to his study. The distraction from me will certainly affect his concentration. Thinking about this, should I keep away from him, I ask myself, but, can I? I doubt.
He is the one. To me. And always be, I believe.
And, I know, lots of things from me are “unfair” to him…
Apologize from me. Dear.
-- 1st June 2010
(p/s. Ring him again this afternoon around 2.15, just to chat to him and listen to his voice, this will makes me feel more comfort. Haha, it is like I am addicted to “something” or in “drug”. Miss you extremely much.)
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