Friday, December 31, 2010
梯间
紧抓着你的短发，使劲，感觉腹股间热流的冲激，是多么的实在；那一前一后宛如急流般的舌捲，你的眼里 含着精锐的光芒与贪恋，不休。那赤热的快感起伏着，昇化一柱火红的坚韧，带着渐隐的喃喃，在那梯间迴荡。
Thursday, December 30, 2010
走走
穿过繁忙的街道，滑过陌生人的眼里，那已是灯火辉煌的夜。熟悉的吵杂，看不清的脸孔， 我却能隐约的听见你的心在说话。不知名的树叶跌伤了自己，在地面上飘动的挣扎着；有的飘下还想企图躲进你的短发里，却让我窥见。你和我，一白一黑的，就这样的走走谈谈。
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
Recovering the lost smell
I thought I was unable to get the familiar ''green smell'' again.
The smell I definitely think is belongs to him. Since he told me that he had finished the green smell, that moment the word was cast in my mind ; I always wanted to try to find the green smell again.
I missed out the chance on the way to Thailand when I encounted with the green smell, but at last, be able to get the green smell from the way back from UK, and specific for him.
"Green smell", a smell which is a significant memory to me. A smell that symbolize a memory of him that was so close to me. A smell that I always try to recall and hope to come from him. It carries a good memory, a memory that was so tender and sweet of course; a sensous feeling of smell and touch that keep us close enough to feel each other.
But now, although he has the ''green smell'', but I have less chance to smell it. I hope it will not gradually disappear from my memory.
The smell I definitely think is belongs to him. Since he told me that he had finished the green smell, that moment the word was cast in my mind ; I always wanted to try to find the green smell again.
I missed out the chance on the way to Thailand when I encounted with the green smell, but at last, be able to get the green smell from the way back from UK, and specific for him.
"Green smell", a smell which is a significant memory to me. A smell that symbolize a memory of him that was so close to me. A smell that I always try to recall and hope to come from him. It carries a good memory, a memory that was so tender and sweet of course; a sensous feeling of smell and touch that keep us close enough to feel each other.
But now, although he has the ''green smell'', but I have less chance to smell it. I hope it will not gradually disappear from my memory.
恋石之情。
一段时间没好好的写些东西了。也好些时候没有好好的陪陪那粒大石头了。想起以前总可以带着石头去逛逛街，看看电影；而今，大家都比往常来的忙碌，少了相聚相伴的机会和时间，因而，想恋大石头的心情却也相对的增加了。但石头有时也蛮无聊的，总爱想些不实际的东西来瞎闹，毫无意义可言。
人生，有着比私情更重要的东西得去策划和安排，以体现为人的智慧。
人生，有着比私情更重要的东西得去策划和安排，以体现为人的智慧。
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
The Lost Page
It was on 22nd that they last met before he moves to somewhere else; and of course what should happen between them had happened. The space was almost empty, everything needed has been taken away, leaving with each empty rooms filled with memory.
They moved to the middle room to spend the night together, but before that they had a most crazy night in their live that happen in the dining room, and for sure they would not forget this experience.
On 25th he asks him whether he read his blog about an article that he wrote about, but unfortunately he did not has the chance to read it before the article has been deleted. He is a very sensitive guy, sensitive enough to think of something that rather unnecessary, this does give him something to worry about.
And lucky enough that he found the lost article accidently, the article that he ask him about, but he say it is nothing important and do not tell him, but now through god’s help, he got it and read it all, and understand why he wanted to delete it and without letting him have the chance to read.
The lost page which he ever wanted to read, and to know.
And now he got it.
They moved to the middle room to spend the night together, but before that they had a most crazy night in their live that happen in the dining room, and for sure they would not forget this experience.
On 25th he asks him whether he read his blog about an article that he wrote about, but unfortunately he did not has the chance to read it before the article has been deleted. He is a very sensitive guy, sensitive enough to think of something that rather unnecessary, this does give him something to worry about.
And lucky enough that he found the lost article accidently, the article that he ask him about, but he say it is nothing important and do not tell him, but now through god’s help, he got it and read it all, and understand why he wanted to delete it and without letting him have the chance to read.
The lost page which he ever wanted to read, and to know.
And now he got it.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The First Smell
That was the day where I can get so close to him, close enough to be able to kiss him. That was the day as well where I first to feel a wonderful smell of fragant from him; a hint of sweetness that was so tender like him.
I still remember, and still looking for the smell that carrying my memory of that day.
He laid on my half folded bed, stairing at me with something in his mind. I was unable to resist that temptation wanted to be close to him, and at last I kiss him.
That feeling was good, as good as like we first met and get ''electrified'' at the mall while we walk side by side.
The smell, he says, was ''green'', since then I was looking for that "green smell", that smell only belongs to him.
It was 31st of May.
I still remember, and still looking for the smell that carrying my memory of that day.
He laid on my half folded bed, stairing at me with something in his mind. I was unable to resist that temptation wanted to be close to him, and at last I kiss him.
That feeling was good, as good as like we first met and get ''electrified'' at the mall while we walk side by side.
The smell, he says, was ''green'', since then I was looking for that "green smell", that smell only belongs to him.
It was 31st of May.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
“找”
暗暗的。只有风扇旋转不停的声音。
他，在找他。在这暗暗的房间里，想探索那逐渐熟悉的身躯和温度。那指尖曾经滑过的地方。
他，嗅着他睡过的枕头，想找回那曾经的气味。他，探寻昨夜的温柔， 想回忆曾经的痕迹。
他，思念向左侧身翻就能抱到他的快乐和幸福。
但是，暗暗的，整间房都暗暗的，没有他的影子和味道。
他，没有凭藉可以想像。
心，暗暗的。
他，在找他。在这暗暗的房间里，想探索那逐渐熟悉的身躯和温度。那指尖曾经滑过的地方。
他，嗅着他睡过的枕头，想找回那曾经的气味。他，探寻昨夜的温柔， 想回忆曾经的痕迹。
他，思念向左侧身翻就能抱到他的快乐和幸福。
但是，暗暗的，整间房都暗暗的，没有他的影子和味道。
他，没有凭藉可以想像。
心，暗暗的。
Monday, July 5, 2010
Deleting
When he tries to log in a site where he join not long ago, and realized that he actually deleted his membership permanently last week.
It is because of need and desire that he created the membership to join the site, during that time he was no way near him, and now he doesn’t need it any more. Truly, there is something greater then need and desire, that is LOVE. A love that he can feel that was so pure and kind, a love that was so innocent and focuses on him always. He feels so lucky and blessed.
There are so many decisions we need to make in our life, accepting or rejecting. We learn how to accept things that are good for us, and learn how to refuse something which is not worth to keep.
When he decided to deletes the membership permanently, he doesn’t feel any pity for what he is going to do, and he did it immediately in fact; because he knows that there is something else which is more important than just a site for fun, for desire, for him can received many hearts from others; that is his feeling, his concern, his love, all these are worth and valuable to him than the site.
Because of the site, he met him, and because of him, he gives up the site. This is the circle of arising and descending. He is now back to the beginning where like he never join the site before, but the different is, he was so lucky to be able to have him.
Deleting something from our life doesn’t means that you are losing it, sometime we need to clean up certain things that we don’t need in our life, and make more space for other thing which are more important to come, THAT IS HIM.
It is because of need and desire that he created the membership to join the site, during that time he was no way near him, and now he doesn’t need it any more. Truly, there is something greater then need and desire, that is LOVE. A love that he can feel that was so pure and kind, a love that was so innocent and focuses on him always. He feels so lucky and blessed.
There are so many decisions we need to make in our life, accepting or rejecting. We learn how to accept things that are good for us, and learn how to refuse something which is not worth to keep.
When he decided to deletes the membership permanently, he doesn’t feel any pity for what he is going to do, and he did it immediately in fact; because he knows that there is something else which is more important than just a site for fun, for desire, for him can received many hearts from others; that is his feeling, his concern, his love, all these are worth and valuable to him than the site.
Because of the site, he met him, and because of him, he gives up the site. This is the circle of arising and descending. He is now back to the beginning where like he never join the site before, but the different is, he was so lucky to be able to have him.
Deleting something from our life doesn’t means that you are losing it, sometime we need to clean up certain things that we don’t need in our life, and make more space for other thing which are more important to come, THAT IS HIM.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
石头记
他伏在他厚实的背脊上，小心的聆听他那跳跃在背脊下的脉膊。指尖轻轻地画过他那宛如石块的背脊上的汗珠，再滑向他的股间。 他的呻吟是原始的催唤，在他心里敲击着。
他喜欢他的身体如石块般的平坦实在。他喜欢扒在他的上面，感受他的温暖和轻轻的起伏。他常笑这石头是水做的，老是冒出细小冷冷的水珠。让他抹拭。
他常紧紧地抱着这石头，狂吻。深恐他的离开换来一阵的虚空与孤寂。 他留恋那静静地伏在他那厚实的石背上的时光。
轻抚他的肌肤，在他那活跃层叠的脉络之上。
他喜欢他的身体如石块般的平坦实在。他喜欢扒在他的上面，感受他的温暖和轻轻的起伏。他常笑这石头是水做的，老是冒出细小冷冷的水珠。让他抹拭。
他常紧紧地抱着这石头，狂吻。深恐他的离开换来一阵的虚空与孤寂。 他留恋那静静地伏在他那厚实的石背上的时光。
轻抚他的肌肤，在他那活跃层叠的脉络之上。
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
"My 8 days of him"
He does not know how he is being able to pass through all these eight days; all he can do is just tolerate and be patient. It was not a very long period in fact, but if you are waiting for someone, and was unable to get hold of him, and still you know where he is, then 8 days seems like rather a long time。
Day 1--16th (Wednesday).
He was delighted in the morning to received his SMS telling him not to worry about him while he is at work, and he says he will taking care of himself; that’s good, at least, he still remember him, and he is in his heart, haha. But he was so miserable at night of missing him too much in the day 1, and worst is that still got another 7 days to go.
Day 2--17th (Thursday).
He was lying on bed and trying to recall some of the unforgettable memory they share so far, which happened in several locations. It was so boring without him in his life, and he was expecting him to appear in MSN but this does not happen. Night time is not a good time for him without him around; he just occupied the whole room in his mind.
Day 3--18th (Friday).
He was kind of free at work today, and was looking for task to do to keep himself busy; but again, like usual, his images will pop up automatically. He drives a long way home to the North at night after work, and all the way he was thinking about him, his everything indeed….Every time when he was lying in the bed sure will miss him lots.
Day 4--19th (Saturday).
He was at home and wakes up late this morning. After having lunch then he went to shopping mall to buy daily stuff. He was unable to not to think about him. He wonder is he enjoys his time over there. He went to swimming in the evening, but still cannot wash off his images in his mind.
Day 5--20th (Sunday).
He wake up late again today in the morning, simply tuck in a kosong ban and half glass of cold milk, then get really to the park to jog and exercise. Strong physical exercise still can’t keep his mind off him, his images just “follows” him every step when he jogs. After that he sat under the shadow of a tree and write some short articles --“妖”.
Day 6--21st (Monday).
He went to local clinic for blood test, a yearly routine checkup; then collect materials from a friend to be bring to work, and as well search around local shop for a digital scale but was unable to find one. Noon having heavy rain in the North. The mode of missing him begins in the morning when he wakes up. Still have to wait for another two more days. My god.
Day 7--22nd (Tuesday).
He drives back to KL in a pretty slow speed in the mid day, as he remembers he always reminds him to drive slowly. He went to the usual stall to have his lonely meal again at night, and then unpacked some of the stuff he brought back. At night today he can access to internet after few days at home, he was so desperate to hear from him. He was expecting tomorrow to come.
Day 8--23rd (Wednesday).
He was no working since yesterday, clearing some of his annual leaves. He is coming back today, and hope he doesn’t changed at all. What time would he arrive? Forget to ask him. Really can’t wait to see him. Hey, miss you very much all these 8 days.
Day 1--16th (Wednesday).
He was delighted in the morning to received his SMS telling him not to worry about him while he is at work, and he says he will taking care of himself; that’s good, at least, he still remember him, and he is in his heart, haha. But he was so miserable at night of missing him too much in the day 1, and worst is that still got another 7 days to go.
Day 2--17th (Thursday).
He was lying on bed and trying to recall some of the unforgettable memory they share so far, which happened in several locations. It was so boring without him in his life, and he was expecting him to appear in MSN but this does not happen. Night time is not a good time for him without him around; he just occupied the whole room in his mind.
Day 3--18th (Friday).
He was kind of free at work today, and was looking for task to do to keep himself busy; but again, like usual, his images will pop up automatically. He drives a long way home to the North at night after work, and all the way he was thinking about him, his everything indeed….Every time when he was lying in the bed sure will miss him lots.
Day 4--19th (Saturday).
He was at home and wakes up late this morning. After having lunch then he went to shopping mall to buy daily stuff. He was unable to not to think about him. He wonder is he enjoys his time over there. He went to swimming in the evening, but still cannot wash off his images in his mind.
Day 5--20th (Sunday).
He wake up late again today in the morning, simply tuck in a kosong ban and half glass of cold milk, then get really to the park to jog and exercise. Strong physical exercise still can’t keep his mind off him, his images just “follows” him every step when he jogs. After that he sat under the shadow of a tree and write some short articles --“妖”.
Day 6--21st (Monday).
He went to local clinic for blood test, a yearly routine checkup; then collect materials from a friend to be bring to work, and as well search around local shop for a digital scale but was unable to find one. Noon having heavy rain in the North. The mode of missing him begins in the morning when he wakes up. Still have to wait for another two more days. My god.
Day 7--22nd (Tuesday).
He drives back to KL in a pretty slow speed in the mid day, as he remembers he always reminds him to drive slowly. He went to the usual stall to have his lonely meal again at night, and then unpacked some of the stuff he brought back. At night today he can access to internet after few days at home, he was so desperate to hear from him. He was expecting tomorrow to come.
Day 8--23rd (Wednesday).
He was no working since yesterday, clearing some of his annual leaves. He is coming back today, and hope he doesn’t changed at all. What time would he arrive? Forget to ask him. Really can’t wait to see him. Hey, miss you very much all these 8 days.
“妖”
妖I
人来人往。他与他并肩。时近时远。他故意逼近。肌肤的接触让他与他有触电之感。他与他都各自暗自惊喜。只差没电光火石般轰烈。是他还是他， 是谁在电谁。
(22nd May 2010)
妖II
他深情地望着他。他有被迷惑的感觉。他躺在他的房里，像蛛网上的猎物， 有动弹不得之感。他逼近，气息吐纳有些急促。他只好等待。 就在接触的刹那，他还击，经是如此紧凑的欲罢不能。紧拥狂吸。他，是期待着他如此的。 而他是知道的，也等待着他付诸行动。
(31st May 2010)
妖III
他伏在他的身上，无法自控的游移， 恨不得钻进他体内，和他合而为一。 欲念的起伏让他与他都在喘息。他炙热的躯体是欲望的升华，诱惑着他的贪念。他和他，如此占有般的相互吮吸着，直到决堤。 他是喜欢他的。
(14th June 2010)
人来人往。他与他并肩。时近时远。他故意逼近。肌肤的接触让他与他有触电之感。他与他都各自暗自惊喜。只差没电光火石般轰烈。是他还是他， 是谁在电谁。
(22nd May 2010)
妖II
他深情地望着他。他有被迷惑的感觉。他躺在他的房里，像蛛网上的猎物， 有动弹不得之感。他逼近，气息吐纳有些急促。他只好等待。 就在接触的刹那，他还击，经是如此紧凑的欲罢不能。紧拥狂吸。他，是期待着他如此的。 而他是知道的，也等待着他付诸行动。
(31st May 2010)
妖III
他伏在他的身上，无法自控的游移， 恨不得钻进他体内，和他合而为一。 欲念的起伏让他与他都在喘息。他炙热的躯体是欲望的升华，诱惑着他的贪念。他和他，如此占有般的相互吮吸着，直到决堤。 他是喜欢他的。
(14th June 2010)
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
A Day of Enlightenment
14th of June, 2010
The afternoon was not as hot as usual.
Two delicious “bak Chang”.
Few interesting books that I bought in the book fairs been delivered.
A sweating spiky head.
It was an absolute wonderful day in my life.
A memorable afternoon for physical and psychological enlightenment.
Wow.
15th June 2010
The afternoon was not as hot as usual.
Two delicious “bak Chang”.
Few interesting books that I bought in the book fairs been delivered.
A sweating spiky head.
It was an absolute wonderful day in my life.
A memorable afternoon for physical and psychological enlightenment.
Wow.
15th June 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
"兰雨"
其实。雨，早已停了。
我不该让你等待我过份的迟来。彼此的际遇，却让你陷入一场今生无法忘怀的爱恋。我的执著让你迟疑，这跨岁的缘定，是偶然的邂遘，还是前世的约定。
我守着你的到来和离去，像守着前世和今生的点滴；没有要求，不需回报。只让你豁达踏步人生。
雨。早已停了。在这兰黑的夜晚。
夜，有多长。
思念，却无法度量。
-- 9th June 2010
我不该让你等待我过份的迟来。彼此的际遇，却让你陷入一场今生无法忘怀的爱恋。我的执著让你迟疑，这跨岁的缘定，是偶然的邂遘，还是前世的约定。
我守着你的到来和离去，像守着前世和今生的点滴；没有要求，不需回报。只让你豁达踏步人生。
雨。早已停了。在这兰黑的夜晚。
夜，有多长。
思念，却无法度量。
-- 9th June 2010
"The Darkest Night"
8th June 2010
It was a rather hot and sticky night really.
I was waiting for the moment to come, the moment where I can chat with him in that small window, silently without disturbing others, without causing awareness of others as well, hoping that the whole world was asleep, but only we awake in the dark night, sharing our thought and concern for each other, in a distance of far and beyond.
During the day, I hope the night can come sooner, so I can see you again; and at night, I hope the night can stay there forever, so I can be with you much longer. But, things doesn’t go as what I expecting; sometime I have to accept that as well, because I really cannot control what should happens or should not be happens, just precautious of our togetherness in this mundane world.
My night of waiting almost shatters, and this does bring me some shock; suddenly I do not know how to face this kind of ordeal, it is like a “punishment” from the god, punishes me of getting into this kind of “relationship”, whereby I should not have. I was keep silent for quite sometimes, starring at the unsympathetic words being sent to me appearing in the screen, on and on; sentences were short, but strong and sharp enough to peer through my heart, I was speechless, confused and lost in my own world of sorrow. Why?
My eye staring at the screen of the keep coming words, no tear can ever run from my eye, I hope I can, at least crying can ease my sorrow, but not; the tear runs backward to the heart, I was blank for the moment, and sink to the darkest of the night with no one could ever lend a hand to me. I was helpless.
Hatred is not the thing I will do to him. To someone I care about, I concern about, I would not and should not do any harm to him; and of course, he has his own reasons to behave like this, he has to throw out all doubts and uncertainty to himself and me, I understand, he is still a young man will not much of experiment with reality, and I hope I can accompany him when he feel lonely, to assist him when he needs help, to guide him when he confront problems in his journey of life.
These are the thing I will do. Just be there for you, when you need me.
One day, you will leave me, or perhaps, I will leave you.
I do not belief in fate that god created for me. My fate is in my own hand. Thats my theory.
For as long as you are available, I hope I can be accompanying you, to see u grow, to see you develop, to see you achieve your dream, to give you any support when you needed. That’s all I would like to do.
Or, may be, you do not want me to do all these things. Or, may be, I am no body to you.
Dear.
-- 9th June 2010
It was a rather hot and sticky night really.
I was waiting for the moment to come, the moment where I can chat with him in that small window, silently without disturbing others, without causing awareness of others as well, hoping that the whole world was asleep, but only we awake in the dark night, sharing our thought and concern for each other, in a distance of far and beyond.
During the day, I hope the night can come sooner, so I can see you again; and at night, I hope the night can stay there forever, so I can be with you much longer. But, things doesn’t go as what I expecting; sometime I have to accept that as well, because I really cannot control what should happens or should not be happens, just precautious of our togetherness in this mundane world.
My night of waiting almost shatters, and this does bring me some shock; suddenly I do not know how to face this kind of ordeal, it is like a “punishment” from the god, punishes me of getting into this kind of “relationship”, whereby I should not have. I was keep silent for quite sometimes, starring at the unsympathetic words being sent to me appearing in the screen, on and on; sentences were short, but strong and sharp enough to peer through my heart, I was speechless, confused and lost in my own world of sorrow. Why?
My eye staring at the screen of the keep coming words, no tear can ever run from my eye, I hope I can, at least crying can ease my sorrow, but not; the tear runs backward to the heart, I was blank for the moment, and sink to the darkest of the night with no one could ever lend a hand to me. I was helpless.
Hatred is not the thing I will do to him. To someone I care about, I concern about, I would not and should not do any harm to him; and of course, he has his own reasons to behave like this, he has to throw out all doubts and uncertainty to himself and me, I understand, he is still a young man will not much of experiment with reality, and I hope I can accompany him when he feel lonely, to assist him when he needs help, to guide him when he confront problems in his journey of life.
These are the thing I will do. Just be there for you, when you need me.
One day, you will leave me, or perhaps, I will leave you.
I do not belief in fate that god created for me. My fate is in my own hand. Thats my theory.
For as long as you are available, I hope I can be accompanying you, to see u grow, to see you develop, to see you achieve your dream, to give you any support when you needed. That’s all I would like to do.
Or, may be, you do not want me to do all these things. Or, may be, I am no body to you.
Dear.
-- 9th June 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
“He is the One”
1st of June.
Half of the year has gone.
Sudden wake up in the early morning around 5 am today, and all I realized is that he was all over my mind since yesterday night after we parted.
Am I never sleeping yesterday night? I think so. When I lay in the bed alone yesterday night, I started to miss him and think about what we have been doing and together.
Every time when the feeling of missing him attacks, I will go to his blog to read his writing, or go to the site to see his pictures, or else, what can I do?
And, ridicular enough, I have the idea that I wish I could have the “sacred sand”, like the sand in the movie of the “Price of Persia” we watch together, that I could turn the time backward for many years ago, so I be able to know him much earlier, and can be with him whenever he wanted before now; and of course, I could be “The absolute One” for him everlastingly. A silly thought, I know.
Still wanted to see him, an urge really deep in the heart, affected the mind, somehow uncontrollable. But I still will do this, just because of him, no one else. A silly decision again, I knew that.
He starts to work for the next few weeks, from early to night; in a way, which means I cannot see him for at least two weeks, then again, he will go abroad for holiday, and then the new semester commence; I hope I can tolerate missing him, and can control the desire to see him, when he starts to come back to his study. The distraction from me will certainly affect his concentration. Thinking about this, should I keep away from him, I ask myself, but, can I? I doubt.
He is the one. To me. And always be, I believe.
And, I know, lots of things from me are “unfair” to him…
Apologize from me. Dear.
-- 1st June 2010
(p/s. Ring him again this afternoon around 2.15, just to chat to him and listen to his voice, this will makes me feel more comfort. Haha, it is like I am addicted to “something” or in “drug”. Miss you extremely much.)
Half of the year has gone.
Sudden wake up in the early morning around 5 am today, and all I realized is that he was all over my mind since yesterday night after we parted.
Am I never sleeping yesterday night? I think so. When I lay in the bed alone yesterday night, I started to miss him and think about what we have been doing and together.
Every time when the feeling of missing him attacks, I will go to his blog to read his writing, or go to the site to see his pictures, or else, what can I do?
And, ridicular enough, I have the idea that I wish I could have the “sacred sand”, like the sand in the movie of the “Price of Persia” we watch together, that I could turn the time backward for many years ago, so I be able to know him much earlier, and can be with him whenever he wanted before now; and of course, I could be “The absolute One” for him everlastingly. A silly thought, I know.
Still wanted to see him, an urge really deep in the heart, affected the mind, somehow uncontrollable. But I still will do this, just because of him, no one else. A silly decision again, I knew that.
He starts to work for the next few weeks, from early to night; in a way, which means I cannot see him for at least two weeks, then again, he will go abroad for holiday, and then the new semester commence; I hope I can tolerate missing him, and can control the desire to see him, when he starts to come back to his study. The distraction from me will certainly affect his concentration. Thinking about this, should I keep away from him, I ask myself, but, can I? I doubt.
He is the one. To me. And always be, I believe.
And, I know, lots of things from me are “unfair” to him…
Apologize from me. Dear.
-- 1st June 2010
(p/s. Ring him again this afternoon around 2.15, just to chat to him and listen to his voice, this will makes me feel more comfort. Haha, it is like I am addicted to “something” or in “drug”. Miss you extremely much.)
Monday, May 31, 2010
“A wonderful Day”
One day before June.
It was a wonderful day, I must say.
Drive all the way from the North back to Central in the early morning, to help with the set up for an exhibition, and then waiting for him to come in the afternoon and that makes me so excited.
At last, I got the change to meet him again. Pink with short blue. This is the second time to see him, and my feeling about him is still the same, might be I am missing him too much. May be it has been long for me wanted to be with him.
It was down pour out there, which makes us have to stay back… (Thanks god for this.)
We have wonderful time together…… (……………………….) After that we go to Paparich to have lunch, but it was almost 4pm. I past the key to him and let him drives me to Sunway to see movie, and again, we spent some quality moment in there as well.
It was my first time being to the Sunway shopping mall. To me there is nothing too special about the mall, but it was with him that I feel wonderful and precious about.
Night falls too fast.
He has to go home, and yet don’t know when can be with him again.
– 31st May 2010
It was a wonderful day, I must say.
Drive all the way from the North back to Central in the early morning, to help with the set up for an exhibition, and then waiting for him to come in the afternoon and that makes me so excited.
At last, I got the change to meet him again. Pink with short blue. This is the second time to see him, and my feeling about him is still the same, might be I am missing him too much. May be it has been long for me wanted to be with him.
It was down pour out there, which makes us have to stay back… (Thanks god for this.)
We have wonderful time together…… (……………………….) After that we go to Paparich to have lunch, but it was almost 4pm. I past the key to him and let him drives me to Sunway to see movie, and again, we spent some quality moment in there as well.
It was my first time being to the Sunway shopping mall. To me there is nothing too special about the mall, but it was with him that I feel wonderful and precious about.
Night falls too fast.
He has to go home, and yet don’t know when can be with him again.
– 31st May 2010
“Missing Him”
The second last of May.
Although tomorrow is not my working day, but prefer to come back to workplace to help with the set up for an exhibition. But, in fact, the thing I hope to do is to ask him out, but I dare not; worrying of he might turns me down.
It was a lovely morning. I come to the park to jog and practice some exercises. I come here at least once in a week. I like this park. It is spatial, lots of green, a big lake and windy as well, sometime.
Jog around the lake, run against the wind, and I see the butterfly flutter through the green, a stunning vivid yellow. The nature is so wonderful.
Jogging around the lake is a must to do thing every time I come here. I can jog along the lake for five rounds normally, but not this time, after three rounds, I started to feel the uncomforted of my feet. I think it is because of the sport shoe I wear is not suitable for jogging purposes. I changed a new shoe this morning due to the old jogging shoe split in half from the base.
As I jog around the lake, I start to think about him, each steps, every images of him.
I like physical exercise, the harder the better; it keeps me sweating all the way. I can feel the sweat running from my head through the face and neck, then crawling down the body, it is a relief feeling too, but sometime, it is a bit “geli” as well, but all of this cannot take my mind off him.
Jog around the lake is just a warm-up for me before I get into other sets of exercise. There is variety of work out equipments around the park; I particularly like the sit up bench and push up bar, and of course, my favaurite one is the “lift up bar”. The bar is high above my head, I have to jump up and precisely grab the bar before I landed, then I just hanging there to stretch my body for a while, and then using both hand and strength to lift my whole body up, until my head over the bar, and I usually will do three sets, from 10, then 7 and then 5, because my strength is getting weaker and weaker to hold myself on the bar, and of course, I was exhausted after these.
Back to my car to get a dry t shirt, slipper and drinking water, I am preparing to get change
after all those physical exercises.
Sitting on the marble stool under a tree, I feel the wind sweep over me, it was pleasant feeling. Starring at the other end of the park while I am resting, I start to think about him again. Think about where is he now? Is he busy? What about if I ask him out tomorrow, will he agree? I recall the first time we met at MV. Would we have the same feeling again if we meet again? There are so many things about him in my mind. -- 30th May 2010
Although tomorrow is not my working day, but prefer to come back to workplace to help with the set up for an exhibition. But, in fact, the thing I hope to do is to ask him out, but I dare not; worrying of he might turns me down.
It was a lovely morning. I come to the park to jog and practice some exercises. I come here at least once in a week. I like this park. It is spatial, lots of green, a big lake and windy as well, sometime.
Jog around the lake, run against the wind, and I see the butterfly flutter through the green, a stunning vivid yellow. The nature is so wonderful.
Jogging around the lake is a must to do thing every time I come here. I can jog along the lake for five rounds normally, but not this time, after three rounds, I started to feel the uncomforted of my feet. I think it is because of the sport shoe I wear is not suitable for jogging purposes. I changed a new shoe this morning due to the old jogging shoe split in half from the base.
As I jog around the lake, I start to think about him, each steps, every images of him.
I like physical exercise, the harder the better; it keeps me sweating all the way. I can feel the sweat running from my head through the face and neck, then crawling down the body, it is a relief feeling too, but sometime, it is a bit “geli” as well, but all of this cannot take my mind off him.
Jog around the lake is just a warm-up for me before I get into other sets of exercise. There is variety of work out equipments around the park; I particularly like the sit up bench and push up bar, and of course, my favaurite one is the “lift up bar”. The bar is high above my head, I have to jump up and precisely grab the bar before I landed, then I just hanging there to stretch my body for a while, and then using both hand and strength to lift my whole body up, until my head over the bar, and I usually will do three sets, from 10, then 7 and then 5, because my strength is getting weaker and weaker to hold myself on the bar, and of course, I was exhausted after these.
Back to my car to get a dry t shirt, slipper and drinking water, I am preparing to get change
after all those physical exercises.
Sitting on the marble stool under a tree, I feel the wind sweep over me, it was pleasant feeling. Starring at the other end of the park while I am resting, I start to think about him again. Think about where is he now? Is he busy? What about if I ask him out tomorrow, will he agree? I recall the first time we met at MV. Would we have the same feeling again if we meet again? There are so many things about him in my mind. -- 30th May 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
"Waiting"
Two more days will be June.
It was raining this afternoon, therefore has to cancel my plan to go swimming.
I was in the local library again, just to use the internet provided here to be able to online, and of course, the purpose is to see whether he is around or not.
He is a nice chap. Waiting for him is become a habit to me nowadays, this is all because I got so many things wanted to share with him, and can’t wait to tell him, or should I say, we are be able to share our secret and feeling, and I hope I can be his mentor or close buddy to help him, to guide him and to give support when he is in trouble, and to see him grows as a successful man.
Every time chatting to him will makes me feel guilty. It is because I think I taken up too much of his time, and some time we chat endlessly; it is just because I am missing him almost every day; but what about him, sometime I ask myself, is he willing to chat with me, or is it because he don’t want to disappoint me, therefore carry on chatting with me regardless of his own feeling.
Anyway, without chatting with him or see him will makes me feel unease all day long.
Like today, he is not around. I feel a bit lost.
If I keep carry on like this wanted to chat with him, I think one day I will scare him off, so pardon me, would you.
The night falls with no mercy, too dark to be for someone like me, and I have to go home, can’t wait for him for too long. – 29th May 2010
It was raining this afternoon, therefore has to cancel my plan to go swimming.
I was in the local library again, just to use the internet provided here to be able to online, and of course, the purpose is to see whether he is around or not.
He is a nice chap. Waiting for him is become a habit to me nowadays, this is all because I got so many things wanted to share with him, and can’t wait to tell him, or should I say, we are be able to share our secret and feeling, and I hope I can be his mentor or close buddy to help him, to guide him and to give support when he is in trouble, and to see him grows as a successful man.
Every time chatting to him will makes me feel guilty. It is because I think I taken up too much of his time, and some time we chat endlessly; it is just because I am missing him almost every day; but what about him, sometime I ask myself, is he willing to chat with me, or is it because he don’t want to disappoint me, therefore carry on chatting with me regardless of his own feeling.
Anyway, without chatting with him or see him will makes me feel unease all day long.
Like today, he is not around. I feel a bit lost.
If I keep carry on like this wanted to chat with him, I think one day I will scare him off, so pardon me, would you.
The night falls with no mercy, too dark to be for someone like me, and I have to go home, can’t wait for him for too long. – 29th May 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
“The Sky Without Stars”
It is a bit hard feeling yesterday night after a joyful chat. There is only one choice, take it or leave it, then, that will be the solution. I do not want to do this.
I know it is going to be hard to do any selection, and I cannot do it, I really cannot; whether to take it or to leave it, I hope I am the one to take over the whole responsibility, and without causing any one to suffer or anything to damage from this consequence.
Missing someone without letting him know is a kind of torture to me, keeping the feeling in heart is rather suffered. I do not mind, really; as long as I feel cheerful to do that, then it is fine for me to sustain all, and not asking for any return.
The night is too dark.
The line is rather slow.
The screen is too small to see clearly.
Chatting without any noise, I heard the heart sink to the abbey of nowhere.
“I WILL NOT SEE YOU AGAIN”, that makes me sleepless that night. It might not be the intention. Might be this is an early farewell, who knows.
What should happen, will happen anyway. Let it be the way.
I am Happy to know you. Glad to see you. It is pleasant to walk with you all day long.
Thank you for your kindness.
I.......wish you well........ forever.
– 27th May 2010
I know it is going to be hard to do any selection, and I cannot do it, I really cannot; whether to take it or to leave it, I hope I am the one to take over the whole responsibility, and without causing any one to suffer or anything to damage from this consequence.
Missing someone without letting him know is a kind of torture to me, keeping the feeling in heart is rather suffered. I do not mind, really; as long as I feel cheerful to do that, then it is fine for me to sustain all, and not asking for any return.
The night is too dark.
The line is rather slow.
The screen is too small to see clearly.
Chatting without any noise, I heard the heart sink to the abbey of nowhere.
“I WILL NOT SEE YOU AGAIN”, that makes me sleepless that night. It might not be the intention. Might be this is an early farewell, who knows.
What should happen, will happen anyway. Let it be the way.
I am Happy to know you. Glad to see you. It is pleasant to walk with you all day long.
Thank you for your kindness.
I.......wish you well........ forever.
– 27th May 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
“In My Memory”
Yesterday was 23rd May.
We have a long chat again at night.
I don’t know whether is it good to keep the way as it is or not, every time when I saw him on line, I just cannot hold the urge to wanted to chat to him, and then to see him in that small screen.
To see him smile is a wonderful things.
To me it is a luxury thing to do to see and chatting with him online, because I am occupying his time and energy to be with me, and yet we are far apart.
He told me he has to go to a new part time job, and yet he doesn’t knows the location yet, that’s keep me worrying. Being to that area before few times, apart from the location is far, and yet the traffic in that area is heavy as well. Never like to be in that area.
Anyway, wish he can solve all the problems when confronted.
Our first meet up gave me excellent impression, and nowadays, thinking of him when I am less busy or when I am driving, seems like an essential task of everyday. His everything just pop out from my memory, and I am enjoying the reflective images of him in my mind.
Monday, 24th May, is not my working day. Log in to Fridae to see his picture again, just because of missing him.
Waiting for the night to fall. Expecting him to come back from work soon and not feeling too exhausted, so I still can have the chance to chat with him again tonight.
– 24th May 2010
We have a long chat again at night.
I don’t know whether is it good to keep the way as it is or not, every time when I saw him on line, I just cannot hold the urge to wanted to chat to him, and then to see him in that small screen.
To see him smile is a wonderful things.
To me it is a luxury thing to do to see and chatting with him online, because I am occupying his time and energy to be with me, and yet we are far apart.
He told me he has to go to a new part time job, and yet he doesn’t knows the location yet, that’s keep me worrying. Being to that area before few times, apart from the location is far, and yet the traffic in that area is heavy as well. Never like to be in that area.
Anyway, wish he can solve all the problems when confronted.
Our first meet up gave me excellent impression, and nowadays, thinking of him when I am less busy or when I am driving, seems like an essential task of everyday. His everything just pop out from my memory, and I am enjoying the reflective images of him in my mind.
Monday, 24th May, is not my working day. Log in to Fridae to see his picture again, just because of missing him.
Waiting for the night to fall. Expecting him to come back from work soon and not feeling too exhausted, so I still can have the chance to chat with him again tonight.
– 24th May 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
“Paddington Sparks”
It was almost 11.30am, that day when we meet each other. It was me to promised to treat him movie, when I knew his birthday approaching.
This is the first time we meet up actually, and we eventually spend the whole day in MV.
I am no surprise to know what he looks like, because we saw each others before through the window in MSN. We meet up at MV for Ip Man movie. When I saw him, I was thinking to give him a welcome hug, but at last it did not happens, we just shake hand, like normal friends meet up. This was the first thing I regretted, did not take this opportunity to hug him.
The movie was at 2.15pm. The schedule was kind of planned—lunch, then the movie, and possibly to have dinner as well. As the time still early, we went to visit the property show, and then visit other shops as well; at the end we decided to find a place have lunch.
He ask me what I prefer to have, this action shows that he is a thoughtful person. We look around, and try to find a place that would not be so crowded; at last, we opt for Sushi Zen. We selected a corner, where we can have some “secret talk” about things more personal. He orders a Sushi set, while I go for a small Kakiage Don, that’s was a deep fired prawns with soya sauce rice, but it was too oily to me. Green tea was always top up for us.
That moment was pleasant. We talk a lot. I suppose to say I talk too much. I like to see him smile, and starring at me while I am talking. Behind the glass, I can saw a very sincere eyes looking at me. We sat there for almost two hours; I think that was my longest lunch ever.
As the time approaching 2.15pm, we have to leave for the movie. The movie was good, although somehow I was distracted by my thought that I am going to touch and hold his hand, partly because it was really cold in the cinema and I need some “heat”, but this never happens, I might scare him away I thought, and never be able to see him again; but I do try to put my hand up on the hand rail of the chair, try to have the opportunity to be able to close to him and touch him, but that did not quite success.
Two hours movie ended with my expectation. We walk around in MV to see sport shoes and shirts, and then afternoon tea at Coffee Bean. In fact, our aim is Secret Recipe, but there were too many people, even have to queue up for the seat, I think that will be wasting our time, therefore I suggested near door Coffee Bean, and seat is available.
We secured our seat, and he went to buy coffee and two cheese cakes. I don’t want him to spend his money actually, as it was me who ask him out. Again, in there, I have wonderful time sharing with him again, almost about any things. He said that he has to go by 6.30pm, and would not have dinner with me, because he agreed with friends for badminton game, but as the time approaching, he show no sign of leaving; I think he wants to stay to accompany me, and to me, I hope he can stay to be with me.
After leaving Coffee Bean, we walk side by side and chatting, as he walks, his hand keep touching mine, and of course, I notice that it was not accidentally, but intentionally. I feel great, in fact. But, strangely at some occasion, I will get “shock” by him, or I “shock’ him, might be, when our hand (skin) accidentally touching each other, we can feel each other’s “current”, that’s amazing; as this never happens to me with other friends, and it was something sure memorable and stimulating as well.
Time flies quickly. At last, he did not leave for the badminton game, I was delighted. Hence then we go for dinner at Paddington House of Pancakes. We order different dishes and some coffee, we eat and chat again. I never thought of I can keep chatting like today, seems endlessly; and of course, I do like him, and willing to share my story with him, and be a good listener to him as well. I look deep into his eye, try to find a spark.
It was almost 10pm, shops are closing gradually in MV; I told him, I wish the time can stop, then we can be there “forever” chatting. The “spark” and the “current” on and off, both of us get “shock” as well, we do feel that. Time to leave, we have to go different way, and my second regret thing happens, I don’t have the chance to give him a hug, and I am intended to do so actually, watching him walk away, gradually disappearing from my sight, the image of red t-shirt and blue jean with white shoe will always cast in my memory, deep in my mind.
I will always remember that moment. Thanks WF. – 23/05/2010
This is the first time we meet up actually, and we eventually spend the whole day in MV.
I am no surprise to know what he looks like, because we saw each others before through the window in MSN. We meet up at MV for Ip Man movie. When I saw him, I was thinking to give him a welcome hug, but at last it did not happens, we just shake hand, like normal friends meet up. This was the first thing I regretted, did not take this opportunity to hug him.
The movie was at 2.15pm. The schedule was kind of planned—lunch, then the movie, and possibly to have dinner as well. As the time still early, we went to visit the property show, and then visit other shops as well; at the end we decided to find a place have lunch.
He ask me what I prefer to have, this action shows that he is a thoughtful person. We look around, and try to find a place that would not be so crowded; at last, we opt for Sushi Zen. We selected a corner, where we can have some “secret talk” about things more personal. He orders a Sushi set, while I go for a small Kakiage Don, that’s was a deep fired prawns with soya sauce rice, but it was too oily to me. Green tea was always top up for us.
That moment was pleasant. We talk a lot. I suppose to say I talk too much. I like to see him smile, and starring at me while I am talking. Behind the glass, I can saw a very sincere eyes looking at me. We sat there for almost two hours; I think that was my longest lunch ever.
As the time approaching 2.15pm, we have to leave for the movie. The movie was good, although somehow I was distracted by my thought that I am going to touch and hold his hand, partly because it was really cold in the cinema and I need some “heat”, but this never happens, I might scare him away I thought, and never be able to see him again; but I do try to put my hand up on the hand rail of the chair, try to have the opportunity to be able to close to him and touch him, but that did not quite success.
Two hours movie ended with my expectation. We walk around in MV to see sport shoes and shirts, and then afternoon tea at Coffee Bean. In fact, our aim is Secret Recipe, but there were too many people, even have to queue up for the seat, I think that will be wasting our time, therefore I suggested near door Coffee Bean, and seat is available.
We secured our seat, and he went to buy coffee and two cheese cakes. I don’t want him to spend his money actually, as it was me who ask him out. Again, in there, I have wonderful time sharing with him again, almost about any things. He said that he has to go by 6.30pm, and would not have dinner with me, because he agreed with friends for badminton game, but as the time approaching, he show no sign of leaving; I think he wants to stay to accompany me, and to me, I hope he can stay to be with me.
After leaving Coffee Bean, we walk side by side and chatting, as he walks, his hand keep touching mine, and of course, I notice that it was not accidentally, but intentionally. I feel great, in fact. But, strangely at some occasion, I will get “shock” by him, or I “shock’ him, might be, when our hand (skin) accidentally touching each other, we can feel each other’s “current”, that’s amazing; as this never happens to me with other friends, and it was something sure memorable and stimulating as well.
Time flies quickly. At last, he did not leave for the badminton game, I was delighted. Hence then we go for dinner at Paddington House of Pancakes. We order different dishes and some coffee, we eat and chat again. I never thought of I can keep chatting like today, seems endlessly; and of course, I do like him, and willing to share my story with him, and be a good listener to him as well. I look deep into his eye, try to find a spark.
It was almost 10pm, shops are closing gradually in MV; I told him, I wish the time can stop, then we can be there “forever” chatting. The “spark” and the “current” on and off, both of us get “shock” as well, we do feel that. Time to leave, we have to go different way, and my second regret thing happens, I don’t have the chance to give him a hug, and I am intended to do so actually, watching him walk away, gradually disappearing from my sight, the image of red t-shirt and blue jean with white shoe will always cast in my memory, deep in my mind.
I will always remember that moment. Thanks WF. – 23/05/2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
“CAT”
I pick up the Cat from Fridae.
The first thing impress me about this Cat is his look -- subtle and thoughtful, gazing through the window, like a prophet contemplating an unsolved inquiry with doubts.
Although I didn’t know what and how he looks like actually, he displays one and the only photo of him in fridae, but based on this profile picture, I decided to send him heart and added him as friend in my friend list in Fridae, as well as in my MSN.
Hence, he lives in my MSN for quite some time, and occasionally I do send him message, but not much, it was just a very shadow conversation. Cat is a bit restrain-type of people, I guess. As long as he lives in my MSN, he never make the first move to ask me anything, consider I am a stranger who pick him up from a site where most of the people in there are looking for fun, action and sex.
It was last night (14th May), we have the longest conversation we ever had, and it was pleasant to chat with him. A gentlemen-type of person, I felt that night of his attitude. I was expecting him to ask me about what am I looking for from picking him up from Fridae actually, like the rest of the youngster from the site or from TT, they will ask me so many questions about my status, where I stay, what I am, where can meet, what I like to do, and am I got place for fun, can I show them face photo, can they see me in cam, can we have cam sex, and etc.
Cat didn’t ask anything about sex-related questions at all. We briefly chat about the job we are doing, we talk about the Thomas cup tournament where M’sia lost all, express some thoughts about the situation in this country; in between, we did pause for some time during the conversation, where he goes to answer phone call, and I off to take my bath. For the whole night we chat nothing about the intimacy relationship or sex.
And I didn’t ask him as well. I felt there is nothing I should ask about this “basic instinct” or “human desire” from him. Our conversation purely based upon common chat where we share about knowledge and living experience.
Cat, is going to have a new name. He did proposed. But hope he would not; I still like the Cat as he is. -- 15/05/2010
The first thing impress me about this Cat is his look -- subtle and thoughtful, gazing through the window, like a prophet contemplating an unsolved inquiry with doubts.
Although I didn’t know what and how he looks like actually, he displays one and the only photo of him in fridae, but based on this profile picture, I decided to send him heart and added him as friend in my friend list in Fridae, as well as in my MSN.
Hence, he lives in my MSN for quite some time, and occasionally I do send him message, but not much, it was just a very shadow conversation. Cat is a bit restrain-type of people, I guess. As long as he lives in my MSN, he never make the first move to ask me anything, consider I am a stranger who pick him up from a site where most of the people in there are looking for fun, action and sex.
It was last night (14th May), we have the longest conversation we ever had, and it was pleasant to chat with him. A gentlemen-type of person, I felt that night of his attitude. I was expecting him to ask me about what am I looking for from picking him up from Fridae actually, like the rest of the youngster from the site or from TT, they will ask me so many questions about my status, where I stay, what I am, where can meet, what I like to do, and am I got place for fun, can I show them face photo, can they see me in cam, can we have cam sex, and etc.
Cat didn’t ask anything about sex-related questions at all. We briefly chat about the job we are doing, we talk about the Thomas cup tournament where M’sia lost all, express some thoughts about the situation in this country; in between, we did pause for some time during the conversation, where he goes to answer phone call, and I off to take my bath. For the whole night we chat nothing about the intimacy relationship or sex.
And I didn’t ask him as well. I felt there is nothing I should ask about this “basic instinct” or “human desire” from him. Our conversation purely based upon common chat where we share about knowledge and living experience.
Cat, is going to have a new name. He did proposed. But hope he would not; I still like the Cat as he is. -- 15/05/2010
“你还像去年那样喜欢我吗？”
忘了去年的什么时候，我们的相遇，就像剧中的舖成。 走在小路的边沿，我感觉到你骑着铁马微声从后而来。你的逼近就在咫尺。在俩目交错的刹那， 你的微笑就像蔓藤在墙上留下的痕迹般，攀附在我的心里。
尔后，我们的足迹，频频散佈，扩展在这小镇上。你的到来总是披星戴月的，偶尔带着雨丝。而我也默默的接受了如此般的天意。在没有灯火辉煌的夜里。你有照耀不到的苦衷。
季节的更换交替，催促着我们。时间的到来，是一切的开始，也是所有的接束。你的离去只在心里和记忆力留下迹痕。
如果，今年再相遇，你还会像去年那样喜欢我吗？ -- 12/05/2010
尔后，我们的足迹，频频散佈，扩展在这小镇上。你的到来总是披星戴月的，偶尔带着雨丝。而我也默默的接受了如此般的天意。在没有灯火辉煌的夜里。你有照耀不到的苦衷。
季节的更换交替，催促着我们。时间的到来，是一切的开始，也是所有的接束。你的离去只在心里和记忆力留下迹痕。
如果，今年再相遇，你还会像去年那样喜欢我吗？ -- 12/05/2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Why Am I So Crazy about This
Don't even know when I start to active in Fridae, but it seems not very long ago, that’s for sure (contradictory). Why am I join Fridae? somehow I will questioning myself for my intention--Am I looking for "Same-sex" relationship (and in fact I can't), Am I fancy "Man" (there is attraction to me for sure), Am I "Curious" about things happens between two mans (ya, imagination drives me crazy, sometime),Am I after "Sex" (I think that’s the thing).
Therefore, again, don't even remember from who introducing me to Fridae site, since then I visited the site often to "search" for "fun", "action", "encounter", and of course all those nonsense "chat". There is one time, I unsubscribe from Fridae, the decision is to draw myself back to "normal" life, but soon after a short period, I started to join the site again, and more and more "friends" were make from the site, and of course, a few real actions.
Some friends I knew from the site will question me, Are You Gay? How do i know, I don't even know what exactly I want, hence unable to provide answer. I am just "Curious", that’s the answer I gave to cover up all the unnecessary guilt and sin, perhaps, in my mind.
And now, I am still active in the site, add friends, sending hearts and sometime successfully to be able to meet some good people from there.
Somehow wonder Why Am I So Crazy About This?
Therefore, again, don't even remember from who introducing me to Fridae site, since then I visited the site often to "search" for "fun", "action", "encounter", and of course all those nonsense "chat". There is one time, I unsubscribe from Fridae, the decision is to draw myself back to "normal" life, but soon after a short period, I started to join the site again, and more and more "friends" were make from the site, and of course, a few real actions.
Some friends I knew from the site will question me, Are You Gay? How do i know, I don't even know what exactly I want, hence unable to provide answer. I am just "Curious", that’s the answer I gave to cover up all the unnecessary guilt and sin, perhaps, in my mind.
And now, I am still active in the site, add friends, sending hearts and sometime successfully to be able to meet some good people from there.
Somehow wonder Why Am I So Crazy About This?
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
“夏日精灵”
每个夏日的时候，我都会回归。那是我天性般的习惯。不管你是否还在那遥远的地方守候，我的承诺像满山开遍的紫色牵牛花，只为你张开那一生一世的牵绊。
我们的誓言，你带着。在炎炎夏日的国度，绽开；像那精灵羽翼上的光彩，映在粼粼海上。
你说不抛下我的孤独。我总是攀高远眺， 在那夏的季节里，遥望。时间，带给我一束记忆的白合，在那面海的冢上，坚守绽开的时日。 - 06/05/2010
我们的誓言，你带着。在炎炎夏日的国度，绽开；像那精灵羽翼上的光彩，映在粼粼海上。
你说不抛下我的孤独。我总是攀高远眺， 在那夏的季节里，遥望。时间，带给我一束记忆的白合，在那面海的冢上，坚守绽开的时日。 - 06/05/2010
“路的尽头”
是否每条路都有尽头。在你恍然踏出自己的第一步时，仿佛那路的尽头也早已在那守候。等着你的到来。无论你带着满城凤雨，亦或是荣耀的眩光；路，依然漫长，遥远，不可预测。
环抱着你在电单车的后座上，寻找一条没有尽头的路。你绕着交通圈，旋转。说这是一条没有尽头的路， 只能一直不断往前。
风，有时会离开阳光而去，顿时感觉到它的炽热；而你身上的热却是温暖的。我的依恋紧系着你依然专注的旋转，和你身上的气息。
如果，这将会是一条没有尽头的路，我愿此生，随你，慢漫长路。 - 05/05/2010
环抱着你在电单车的后座上，寻找一条没有尽头的路。你绕着交通圈，旋转。说这是一条没有尽头的路， 只能一直不断往前。
风，有时会离开阳光而去，顿时感觉到它的炽热；而你身上的热却是温暖的。我的依恋紧系着你依然专注的旋转，和你身上的气息。
如果，这将会是一条没有尽头的路，我愿此生，随你，慢漫长路。 - 05/05/2010
“窗内。窗外”
那是怎么样的夜。
遥远的你，在咫尺间的小窗里。锁住。你的庸懒在床第间散开，让我也感染到了。你的笑容带有丝丝的温暖，诚如冬天里乍现的灿烂阳光。那, 是后来发觉的。
不敢妄想你的唇红齿白。总会令人遐思。就算锁在千里之外，也依然贪恋。你的行文措词，成熟中带点稚气，总是引人发笑，却不失把你的率直也给显现出来。
小窗之内的阳光，窗外的夕阳。明知是不可能的梦，却也令让作梦的人不知今生是何身。
- 05/05/2010
遥远的你，在咫尺间的小窗里。锁住。你的庸懒在床第间散开，让我也感染到了。你的笑容带有丝丝的温暖，诚如冬天里乍现的灿烂阳光。那, 是后来发觉的。
不敢妄想你的唇红齿白。总会令人遐思。就算锁在千里之外，也依然贪恋。你的行文措词，成熟中带点稚气，总是引人发笑，却不失把你的率直也给显现出来。
小窗之内的阳光，窗外的夕阳。明知是不可能的梦，却也令让作梦的人不知今生是何身。
- 05/05/2010
“ 回忆，都是不可靠的 ”
把自己抽离。原以为可以不再去想，然而，点滴的经验，总把回忆钩起，一丝丝鲜明的过去，殘留在具体的生活当中。不愿割舍的，是情感上的依恋，惶恐放弃了，就无从追 朔。那曾经的回忆，都是不可靠的，在你想坦然面对的时候，却无法着实的看清，仿佛依稀有着如此这般的经历，让人挂心。 -18/4/2010
“ 该放不放 ”
还以为，就可以如此这般的放下，不再回顾。明知纵然不能卸下这样的束缚，却也不得不如此般的决定。
你的到来总是带着雨丝，在灯火辉煌的夜里，交织着人潮的喧哗和车辆的吵杂。第一次，然后，第二； 那，以后的次数，我还有的数吗？
从奔奔跳跳的腼碘，到步划的从容稳实， 这是一种心态迹象的改变，也是预兆 ；而我，该是察觉到的。想轻易的放掉，却不经意地忆起。来不及回顾的温度，在记忆中逐渐膜糊。想起的记起的, 却是留你在梦中的孤单的自己。 - 14/4/2010
你的到来总是带着雨丝，在灯火辉煌的夜里，交织着人潮的喧哗和车辆的吵杂。第一次，然后，第二； 那，以后的次数，我还有的数吗？
从奔奔跳跳的腼碘，到步划的从容稳实， 这是一种心态迹象的改变，也是预兆 ；而我，该是察觉到的。想轻易的放掉，却不经意地忆起。来不及回顾的温度，在记忆中逐渐膜糊。想起的记起的, 却是留你在梦中的孤单的自己。 - 14/4/2010
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